April 14, 2012 Georgetown

Saturday April 14, 2012

Today is a day of reflections of the blessings I shared with my youngest brother Tommy.  In 1982, Tommy’s F-4 Phantom Jet went down in Avon Park.  It was the day he actually touched the face of God.  For some reason I feel compelled to write about him.  I remember the day he was born.  I wanted a sister so bad because I already had 2 younger brothers and that was enough for me in those days.  I woke up to hear my fathers voice talking to someone downstairs and heard him light his pipe.  I always loved the aroma of the tobacco he smoked.  To this day when I smell it, I think of my Dad.  Back then we didn’t know the affects of tobacco.  Sleepy eyed, I went downstairs and Dad told me the “good” news with a huge grin on his face.  You have a new baby brother.  Brother??? I thought.  What the heck happened to the sister part?  I wouldn’t even look at him for weeks I was so upset.  His crib was even put in my room but I wanted nothing to do with this baby BOY!  It didn’t take long for me to adjust and slowly let Tommy into my life.  I really had no choice, he was there whether I wanted him there or not.  He was cute, chubby blonde and his hair was just long enough that I could slick some baby oil on it and curl it on the top of his head to look like a girl.  He smiled a lot and I guess I pretended like he was my little baby doll.  I learned to enjoy him and soon we were inseparable.  He may not be the sister I wanted but he sure was cute and I loved him!  Thomas Charles, named after both his grandfathers.  We called him Tommy.  As we grew up, I have fond memories of him, I cannot recall him ever being angry or mad at anything, always the one with manners and obedience.  He did everything right, which made it hard to follow his example as I did and still do have some strong will stirring up inside once in awhile.  I remember him studying all the time.  He loved to put model airplanes together and had them hanging in his room from the ceiling.  Posters covered his walls.  He was in the scouts, and loved the pinewood derby when it came up each year.  I still wonder who liked it the most, Tommy or Dad.  They would carve it, weight it and add more weight , careful not to disqualify it by being too heavy.  I don’t remember if he ever won, but I do remember ribbons in his room.  I think those came from later years, when he was on the track team in Glen Burnie High School.  He ran every day, all the time.  Religious about it.  By the time he graduated he was accepted in the Air Force Academy and eventually fulfilled his dream of becoming an F-4 Phantom pilot.  I remember once he told me he wanted to be an astronaut.  I truly believe he would have made it too.  He was the smart one in the family between the 4 of us kids.  He was fun, funny, playful, kind, sensitive, compassionate and had a heart of gold.  I was always comfortable talking to him about anything.  He steered me in the right direction when I needed it.  Sometimes I didn’t even have to ask him, he knew.  He was also close to my son Phillip.  They were inseparable when they had the chance to visit each other.  Tommy used to call Phillip his “Buddy”.  It always brought a smile to Phillips face and a gleam of love through his eyes.  At the age of five, little Phillip had a stroke.  While in the hospital, Tommy said he would give his life for Phillip to live through this.  Phillip came through it, although he spent the rest of his life in occupational, speech and physical therapy as well as in Special Ed in school, and mainstreamed into classes he could handle with kids his age.  We moved from Cincinnati to Seattle and on April 14th, Tommy’s plane went down.  He didn’t make it.  The news devastated all of us, and Phillip took it really hard and talked about Tommy often and that he was in heaven with Jesus.  I remember that day when Tommy said he would trade places with Phillip and die for him if he could and wonder if this was God’s answer to Tommy’s prayer, in his own time.  Tommy would have done that, especially for Phillip.  One winter day in December when Phillip was 11 years old, Phillip became really sick.  The Doctors could not diagnose his illness and it was troublesome as he fought for his life.  On my birthday, January 30th, I went to the hospital to have lunch with Phillip. I was working and a single mother then so it was hard to shuffle time between my job, Phillip and Kristin but I did the best I could.  As we laid next to each other in his hospital bed he looked at me and said, “Mommy, I can’t wait to be with Uncle Tommy and Jesus.”  My heart stopped and I couldn’t breath.  What was he saying?  I asked myself.  “Honey, some day we will all be together with Uncle Tommy and Jesus, I promise you that.  Uncle Tommy and Jesus love you very much and so do I.”  He squeezed my hand and gave me a smile.  He knew, and he was trying to tell me he was going to meet Jesus soon also.  On February 13, 1987 Phillip let go and joined his Uncle Tommy and Jesus.  It seems like yesterday when I lost Tommy, and Phillip.  Knowing someday we will be together again, brings peace in my heart and whenever my heart aches with the pain of the loss of these precious lives I say to myself.  Picture Phillip and Tommy, beautiful butterflies, emerging from cocoons, chasing balloons over rainbows, free spirits of unconditional love.  I thank God every day for the short time he placed his children, Tommy and Phillip into my life.  They both made a difference in my life.  For that I am truly honored to be a sister, a mother and I too, a child of God.  Today, I reflect on God’s greatest Blessings